"One little chair for one of you..."

"One little chair for one of you, and a bigger chair for two to curl up in, and for someone who likes to rock, a rocking chair in the middle."

"Look up, look wa-a-ay up…"

Feeling old? Yeah, me too...

I bit of holiday muzak caught my ear today, I don't remember what it was, but I was brought back to my childhood. For 15 minutes every day I was with friends; Friendly, Jerome and Rusty.

I wanted to visit him, try all 3 chairs, even share the bigger chair with my sister if I had to.

Friendly died in 2000 when Robert Homme died.

The Friendly Giant Theme (early One Morning)

Canada First, Canada last, Canada always - Sir Wilfrid Laurier

Canada's seventh Prime Minister. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilfrid_Laurier

“Two races share today the soil of Canada … These people had not always been friends. But I hasten to say it …There is no longer any family here but the human family. It matters not the language people speak, or the altars at which they kneel.”

‘Terrorism has no religion’

Its been a while since I've posted anything; I guess there wasn't anything interesting to post about.

Here we go!

I was watching the news tonight, there was a story about a video being shown on some middle eastern tv stations. The video is called Suicidal Terror.

The video is from http://www.noterror.info/

Their Mission Statement:
Our mission is to expose the fallacy of the distorted and politicized Islamic teachings used by ungodly extremists to sanctify and justify terrorism. It has become crucial to inform the Muslim and Arab people -particularly the Iraqi people- about the deceptions terrorists employ in distorting the peaceful teachings of Islam. These terrorists, who claim to follow the Islamic Faith, are in truth only drowning in an abyss
of mistaken beliefs.

I was struck by the realism of the video, obviously it was made in Hollywood.

Will the site and videos make a difference, I hope so. I pray it does.

Godzilla didn't eat me

That is not to be taken lightly.

Godzilla is my nephew's lizard; a Sudan Plated Lizard (Gerrhosaurus major)

While my sister and family are away on vacation, I am responsible for the care and feeding of this beast. OK, not really a beast, he (or she) is about 12 inches long right now and can grow to about 20 inches.

Here are a couple of pictures a Sudan Plated Lizard
(Not Godzilla)

Today Godzilla had a cricket, that was hiding in the cage, some fruit mix (commercial stuff) and some calcium powder sprinkled on the fruit.

He seemed happy.

I go back again later in the week, I will make a full report then.

HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!!

HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!!
HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!!
HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!!
HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!!
HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!!
HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!!
HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!!

Elephants Everywhere!!

I have a bit of a warped sense of humour; ask any of my friends, they'll confirm it!

I have always been a fan of elephant jokes. Why you ask. I have NO idea! I just like 'em.

Anyway, I found a page full of elephant jokes, enjoy!

Here is a a small sample:

Q: Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles?
A: So you don't see them when they float upside down in a bowl of custard.

Q: Have you ever seen an elephant floating upside down in a bowl of custard?
A: No, of course not.

Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into the city?
A: Free Parking.

Q: Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
A: To sneak across a pool table without being seen.

Q: How many elephants can you fit into a Mercedes?
A: 5. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
A: They're all on the same team.

If you go out in the woods today, You're sure of a big surprise.

The Colorado State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Dillon, Breckenridge, and Keystone area.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly.

They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity.

People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings.

Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.

Grizzly bear droppings have bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

Me, Music & My Nephew

My oldest nephew is 9 years old, he seems to have hit his teen years early. Teen age angst has come early; Green Day seems to be the cause; they are what he listens to, along with a slew of other groups aided by his father. Sometimes I just laugh at him and remind him that he IS only 9 and not to worry about what the world does or doesn't think about him. He just looks at me and goes on with his mood.

I am trying to get him and my other nephew, 7 years old, to listen to other music, although the little guy does listen to Crazy Frog and other music on that cd. I am trying to introduce them to world music. (have alook at www.putumayo.com) Its been a bit of a task to get them to even listen, nevermind like the music.

This past weekend I bought myself the Curious George soundtrack by Jack Johnson because I wanted 1 song; Upside Down. Well, my older nephew is a fan of jack Johnson too!! I finally found something we have in common without either of us forcing anything. Of course I made him a copy of the cd (don't tell anyone, ok) I am looking forward to listening to the cd while we read the lyrics together.

The cd is mostly easy for parents and children to listen to together.

Faced with the task of giving a voice to a central character that does not speak, Universal Pictures turned to Jack Johnson to craft songs that could provide a voice for Curious George.

I haven't seen the movie yet, but listening to and reading the lyrics give me the same impression.

Upside down seems to describe the world from the perspective of Crious George, the monkey, confused but sure he can do or try whatever he wants.

Who’s to say I can’t do everything
Well I can try, and as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren’t always just what they seem

What would it take to make the children we're around feel the same way? Feel that even though things are not always easy, thay can and should try whatever thay want.

Think about it.

Anti-Sex-Ed Scares

This is from the Montreal Hour magazine
Scroll down to the second part of the column

More on the "lets treat teenagers like idiots and resort to filling them with misinformation to try and scare them out of having sex" file.

I was having lunch today and reading one of the city's alternative weekly newspapers. I usually skim through most of the paper, but this caught my eye.

... an "expert" on a TV panel about teen sex who claimed that girls can get pregnant through anal sex...

...in Sex Ed, the teacher refers to sex as "Russian Roulette" because you will either "get pregnant or sick from it."...

..."two teens are touching each other and grinding bodies (with no penetration) and the girl gets some semen near her vagina and 'flash!' she's pregnant."...

There is also a link to an interesting video about New Mexico's "sex ed" program Abstinence Comes to Albuquerque
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6125514476868719421&q=abstinence+albuquerque

Talk about a disservice to our children

Canadian Religion

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the
world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about balance, God? You said there would be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."

I've decided to throw myself a party!

Well, I'm going to be 45 this year...Sometimes I feel so old, especially at work with the 17 & 18 year old students, but I digress...Age does have it's benefits, discounts, being able to do or not do what you want. All that and, well...You know what I'm talking about.

People have asked me what I want for my birthday, besides the really big stuff, like a car or a house, there really isn't much I want or need.

I've decided to throw myself a party!

A fund raiser really for Share the Warmth.

Here is the information http://myparty.awardspace.com/

Have a look, let me know what you think, make a suggestion, ask how you can help, ask how you can make a difference.

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!

President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. " This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you ey!"

"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

George paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

" Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

" And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked.

" Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."

President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 4,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a
half million since we last spoke."

" Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya"

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.
"President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"

George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

" Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.
"President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."

" I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

" Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!

U.S. district attorney has advice for Canada: don't emulate U.S. drug laws

I am amazed!!

A real life, high profile U.S. lawmaker is telling us, Canada, that we have the right idea when it comes to drugs.

"My advice to Canada is stay as completely far away from U.S. drug law policy as possible," said David Soares, the district attorney for Albany County in the state of New York. "You (Canada) are headed in the right direction." In a blunt and scathing condemnation of his state and country's ineffective drug war, Soares said lawmakers, judges and prosecutors in the U.S. know their system is ineffective.

I doubt it will ever happen, that the U.S. stops fighting drugs, but it is nice to know that not every American lawmaker agrees with the status-quo

The Dilbert Blog: Income Gap

Sometimes you read things that make you go hmmmmmmm...

This was one of those things.

In The Dilbert Blog: Income Gap Scott Adams makes the point that the reason the poor reamin poor is because they don't vote.

As much as I hate to agree with a radical philosophy, I do agree; The only way to make a difference is to actually go out and vote!

Ohy of you go to http://www.andrewsmcmeel.com/godsdebris/ you can download a copy of Adam's book God’s Debris in pdf format. It is only 332k.

Bonnie, It IS a clock. I'll miss you

Till we meet again.

Unitarian Jihad - Jon Carroll

Jon Carroll from The San Francisco Chronicle from April 8, 2005 (OK I'm a bit slow) has been contacted by the Unitarian Jihad.

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression! (follow this link to continue)

I don't know weather I should laugh or cry.

Jeff Foxworthy on Quebec (I think)

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 3 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you live in Quebec.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Quebec.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you live in Quebec.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you live in Quebec. (Not to mention that mine keeps his long underwear on until long into June.)

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Quebec.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Quebec.

You know you are a true Quebecer if...

1. "Vacation" means going South past Plattsburg for the weekend.


2. You measure distance in hours.


3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.


4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and then back again.


5. You can drive 110 kph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.


6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.


7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.


8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.


9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.


10. Down South to you means Albany ... (Where's Albany, south of Newport?)


11. Your 1st of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.


12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.


13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."


14. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Quebec friends.

Its Been A while....

I'm not a very good blogger, as you can tell by my infrequent entries.

Thats not really true, I just don't think about it as often as I should. I've also been a bit depressed lately; this is the week between the anniversaries of my parents deaths. I'm managing.

A couple of things have caught my attention; Greasemonkey and a record comapny, Putumayo World Music.

Greasemonkey is a small Firefox/Mozilla extension that allows you to customize the way a webpage displays using small bits of JavaScript you can find it here : https://addons.mozilla.org/extensions/moreinfo.php?id=748&application=firefox there are tons of scripts to use with it here: http://userscripts.org

I'm using it to save Google and YouTube videos. Oh yeah, you're going to need he VLC media player

My other discovery is Putumayo World Music I had some gift certificates to use, I really didn't know what to get myself, then I saw the floor display, bright colours, and music!! (ok I sound like a kid...so what!)

There was a huge selection of world music CDs, I wanted something with a broad selection of music. Swing Around the World was my choice.

This upbeat collection of swinging tunes from artists around the world will get people of all ages up and on their feet.

Clicking on the link will bring you to a page with samples from the CD, you'll need Real Player or the Real Player Alternative Real Player Alternative

I think the music is GREAT!!

"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!" or Six reasons to think before you speak

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking men who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY: While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feels better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY: This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and did not, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Computer Geek First Class...I will explain

After a comment I received, I will explain why this is called

Computer Geek First Class

I am a computer technician at Dawson College a very big CEGEP or Jr College. I receive lots of printed publications and junk mail. I wanted a way of tracking how my address was getting around.

On all the forms I fill out there is a space labeled "Job Title" or "Position" Feeling a bit silly one day, I entered Computer Geek First Class Well..as you can imagine, I started to receive this particular publication with that on the address label. I had a good laugh.

It didn't take too long before I started to receive other mailings with the same information. Sometimes it amazes me that no one actually checks these things.

Now you know the rest of the story!

I've been on Holiday...YAY

Hi Everyone!!

As some of you may be aware, I'm a computer technician (cough*geek*cough) at a really big Jr college. My life is somewhat controlled by the cycles of the school year, with one difference; I can take time off almost any time I want. This year I took my big trip in September. You can read more about that here: My trip to London. To continue, I also sometimes take time during the semester, maybe a week at the end of November. This year, because of other obligations, I wasn't able to take any time until now; the week between the holidays. I really needed the break!

Although work is not stressful; most of my days are pretty consistent, there are days when I feel like a human pinball; Some days I don't see my office.

During my time off my broadband router died, went belly up, crapped out, fell down-go boom...you get the idea. I needed a replacement. I setup a linux based firewall appliance, Smoothwall Express It will run on almost anything. I had an old P2 233 MHz with 256MB of ram, I needed a CD-ROM drive for the install and a floppy for backups. I was on my way!

It has been up and running for almost 3 weeks, not a wimper or a complaint for it. As with most Linux systems, it just runs. With the help of the Smoothwall Community Forums I added a couple of modifications that make the system even easier to use. I'm not sure if I'm more impressed with myself or the Smoothwall box sitting in the corner of my office. It is worth a look.

A big hello goes out to anyone visiting from The Langa List

HELLO!!

Ok time to do some work :-)