Canadian Religion

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the
world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about balance, God? You said there would be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."

I've decided to throw myself a party!

Well, I'm going to be 45 this year...Sometimes I feel so old, especially at work with the 17 & 18 year old students, but I digress...Age does have it's benefits, discounts, being able to do or not do what you want. All that and, well...You know what I'm talking about.

People have asked me what I want for my birthday, besides the really big stuff, like a car or a house, there really isn't much I want or need.

I've decided to throw myself a party!

A fund raiser really for Share the Warmth.

Here is the information http://myparty.awardspace.com/

Have a look, let me know what you think, make a suggestion, ask how you can help, ask how you can make a difference.

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!

President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. " This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you ey!"

"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

George paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

" Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

" And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked.

" Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."

President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 4,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a
half million since we last spoke."

" Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya"

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.
"President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"

George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

" Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.
"President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."

" I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

" Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!

U.S. district attorney has advice for Canada: don't emulate U.S. drug laws

I am amazed!!

A real life, high profile U.S. lawmaker is telling us, Canada, that we have the right idea when it comes to drugs.

"My advice to Canada is stay as completely far away from U.S. drug law policy as possible," said David Soares, the district attorney for Albany County in the state of New York. "You (Canada) are headed in the right direction." In a blunt and scathing condemnation of his state and country's ineffective drug war, Soares said lawmakers, judges and prosecutors in the U.S. know their system is ineffective.

I doubt it will ever happen, that the U.S. stops fighting drugs, but it is nice to know that not every American lawmaker agrees with the status-quo

The Dilbert Blog: Income Gap

Sometimes you read things that make you go hmmmmmmm...

This was one of those things.

In The Dilbert Blog: Income Gap Scott Adams makes the point that the reason the poor reamin poor is because they don't vote.

As much as I hate to agree with a radical philosophy, I do agree; The only way to make a difference is to actually go out and vote!

Ohy of you go to http://www.andrewsmcmeel.com/godsdebris/ you can download a copy of Adam's book God’s Debris in pdf format. It is only 332k.

Bonnie, It IS a clock. I'll miss you

Till we meet again.